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It's the little things.
It's the things I don't control.
I can only control how I respond.
It's having this conversation.
Confirmation Coordinator: "We had a pretty good year. I only wish we had some goals or some vision statement so we have a sense of the bigger picture of what we're doing. Parents don't seem to understand why we ask for what we ask."
Me: "Ah, when you started last summer I gave you a file with all the work from the task force that looked at that issue in 2007. There were all the notes, the final vision statement, the yearly goals and objectives and the 5 year plan. I also sent you the orientation PowerPoint with that same material on it to share with the parents."
Later that week: Confirmation Coordinator: "Oh, I can't find that yellow file, do you still have that material?"
And yesterday, when I looked on the computer - all my confirmation documents are gone. Just gone. Not there. Not in back-up either. I don't know what happened.
It's having this situation. Tonight I have to discuss faith statements with 4 high school students. I was told that student X had her statement in, and it was a good one. I said to student X last week - looking forward to seeing your statement and talking to you. Now I was told yesterday that student X doesn't have her paper in. MP said to me - I'll call. Today at staff, MP turns to Youth Director and says: "did you call?" Youth Director, who was at church with me until almost 9 last night. "No I didn't, but I texted them just now - 10:30 a.m."
I can only control how I respond.
I desire to give people a piece of my ear. But that would only make folks look at me as a shrew. I'm sitting tight until I can formulate how to respond.
How to say truth in love - "you ignored the materials I gave you, and the work that I and others had done on that very topic of vision and goals. I'm sorry you felt you weren't supported that way, but the materials were there for you."
"I'm disappointed there wasn't earlier and firmer followup with these statements. I counted on you to do what you had said. Between Monday morning and Tuesday bed-time I put in 21 hours, and you put in 7 - but I would have made the phone calls if you had asked."
And there are more troubling situations on the horizon. Sigh. the questions remain - how am i best to do the work?
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Showing posts with label grousing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grousing. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
annoyance and maturity
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Not responding out of annoyance is a sign of maturity.
Pastors are supposed to be mature.
So, don't express annoyance with the baptism family that just requested a complete schedule of who presides and who does music for 2 months, so they can get the pastor they want preaching and the music they like. At least they didn't ask for the schedule to be changed. Yet.
Especially when I am pretty sure I've never seen them at the type of service they claim to prefer.
Of course, I'm the pastor they are trying to avoid. (They are not explaining why - may be gender, may be style, may be pleasing other people.)
Mature adults do not let being annoyed dictate their actions.
Sooo, I'm going to calm down and deal with this later.
Did i say that all this has occured via e-mail? Sent very early this a.m. to forstall the phone call I promised to make?
Does it sound like there may be something else going on that isn't about me or about the church?
Hmm
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Not responding out of annoyance is a sign of maturity.
Pastors are supposed to be mature.
So, don't express annoyance with the baptism family that just requested a complete schedule of who presides and who does music for 2 months, so they can get the pastor they want preaching and the music they like. At least they didn't ask for the schedule to be changed. Yet.
Especially when I am pretty sure I've never seen them at the type of service they claim to prefer.
Of course, I'm the pastor they are trying to avoid. (They are not explaining why - may be gender, may be style, may be pleasing other people.)
Mature adults do not let being annoyed dictate their actions.
Sooo, I'm going to calm down and deal with this later.
Did i say that all this has occured via e-mail? Sent very early this a.m. to forstall the phone call I promised to make?
Does it sound like there may be something else going on that isn't about me or about the church?
Hmm
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Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
mid week
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It's been a rough interior patch.
Easter wasn't festive enough for some and I heard about that! (But someone told me that particular person delights in complaining about something every week!)
For some reason a family - none of whom I've ever met - requested I - and only I - not visit the fellow in the hospital. I didn't know that. One family member just walked out of the room when I came in and introduced myself, two days in a row. I didn't hear about the 'no prisca' request until my two visitation days were over. Probably better I ddn't know.
The Morton's neuroma isn't getting any better and was particularly painful on Sunday, when I can't wear my running shoes. I've been wearing those darn shoes - which are the only ones that accept my inserts all the other days, but the nerves still hurt so much.
The Eagle tells me he has a hernia - and he does! It's HUGE. And he has let it go for 3 months and I didn't notice it. I feel terrible.
And finally, the big issue is that the son has gotten into unbloggable trouble. I'm so set back on my heels about this. I don't even know if it's right to support him or let him go on his own and experience the radical consequences, which could be very serious. In the moment I had to decide I went with support, but that may not be the right decision.
I'm so tired of having to have a thick skin, of having to be strong and courageous. I just want to cry and pout and get mad.
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It's been a rough interior patch.
Easter wasn't festive enough for some and I heard about that! (But someone told me that particular person delights in complaining about something every week!)
For some reason a family - none of whom I've ever met - requested I - and only I - not visit the fellow in the hospital. I didn't know that. One family member just walked out of the room when I came in and introduced myself, two days in a row. I didn't hear about the 'no prisca' request until my two visitation days were over. Probably better I ddn't know.
The Morton's neuroma isn't getting any better and was particularly painful on Sunday, when I can't wear my running shoes. I've been wearing those darn shoes - which are the only ones that accept my inserts all the other days, but the nerves still hurt so much.
The Eagle tells me he has a hernia - and he does! It's HUGE. And he has let it go for 3 months and I didn't notice it. I feel terrible.
And finally, the big issue is that the son has gotten into unbloggable trouble. I'm so set back on my heels about this. I don't even know if it's right to support him or let him go on his own and experience the radical consequences, which could be very serious. In the moment I had to decide I went with support, but that may not be the right decision.
I'm so tired of having to have a thick skin, of having to be strong and courageous. I just want to cry and pout and get mad.
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Wednesday, March 11, 2009
convincing myself
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During this time of year - Lent, we add stuff at church. Worship services especially. And food. Lots of food. We have a tradition of a soup supper. We already have a Wednesday lunch. It's Wednesday p.m. and I'm trying to convince myself that I want soup.
I do not want soup.
Some of my feelings come from the fact that this is another fund-raiser. It's a free-will offering, but it's still to raise money. And I heard last night how disappointing it was that all the soup was eaten, and none could be sold as extra, because it's in selling the extra soup that the money is made, and the good-will is developed. People want to buy extra soup to take home.
There was no extra soup because we asked the kids from the after-school program to eat at the soup supper.
So. We say the soup is 'free' - just pay what you can or what you want to. But don't free-load with our soup. We want to make sure there is soup for our friends, and especially to sell to those friends.
One of my colleagues is wonderful. He is just tone-deaf to complaints - he just doesn't hear them. It's that wonderful, he says, all those people got fed. That there wasn't anything left over. Just like Jesus.
Now I may go for soup. I will pretend I do not see the grumpies. I will slide an extra 20 into the basket. No, I will give the 20 to the leader of the afterschool program.
Maybe I'll just free-load myself.
Are free-will offerings really our modern guilt offering?
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During this time of year - Lent, we add stuff at church. Worship services especially. And food. Lots of food. We have a tradition of a soup supper. We already have a Wednesday lunch. It's Wednesday p.m. and I'm trying to convince myself that I want soup.
I do not want soup.
Some of my feelings come from the fact that this is another fund-raiser. It's a free-will offering, but it's still to raise money. And I heard last night how disappointing it was that all the soup was eaten, and none could be sold as extra, because it's in selling the extra soup that the money is made, and the good-will is developed. People want to buy extra soup to take home.
There was no extra soup because we asked the kids from the after-school program to eat at the soup supper.
So. We say the soup is 'free' - just pay what you can or what you want to. But don't free-load with our soup. We want to make sure there is soup for our friends, and especially to sell to those friends.
One of my colleagues is wonderful. He is just tone-deaf to complaints - he just doesn't hear them. It's that wonderful, he says, all those people got fed. That there wasn't anything left over. Just like Jesus.
Now I may go for soup. I will pretend I do not see the grumpies. I will slide an extra 20 into the basket. No, I will give the 20 to the leader of the afterschool program.
Maybe I'll just free-load myself.
Are free-will offerings really our modern guilt offering?
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Thursday, February 19, 2009
oh, the stupidity
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This makes my blood boil and my blood pressure rise.
I take medication for my high blood pressure. We have tried various medications, up to and including ACE inhibitors. ACE inhibitors make me cough terribly. I take an ARB. It is the next step up. This is what has worked.
10 days ago I ordered a refill from my mail-order prescription place. Today I received a letter saying that I wouldn't be getting any prescription until my doctor fills out the explanation of why I take this instead of that. 1o days later they deny the prescription for what I've been taking for over 3 years.
This is not good for my high blood pressure.
The poor operator could do nothing. Could only say they tried to contact my doctor 8 days after the prescription was asked for. That was the day after they sent the denial letter. Yes, they denied this with a letter, even though they had my e-mail and my phone number. And used the phone number to assure me on day 3 that the prescription was on it's way.
I am pissed.
On top of my fuel pump failing and stranding me on the highway one hour before confirmation last night, and costing me big $$$ to get fixed.
On top of a staff person who writes in her last minute report to council that she can't talk to me. And another one who just says flat out won't do what in the job descriptioin.
And two funerals. And Lent.
My blood pressure is high.
Tonight bad TV and the cat on my lap.
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This makes my blood boil and my blood pressure rise.
I take medication for my high blood pressure. We have tried various medications, up to and including ACE inhibitors. ACE inhibitors make me cough terribly. I take an ARB. It is the next step up. This is what has worked.
10 days ago I ordered a refill from my mail-order prescription place. Today I received a letter saying that I wouldn't be getting any prescription until my doctor fills out the explanation of why I take this instead of that. 1o days later they deny the prescription for what I've been taking for over 3 years.
This is not good for my high blood pressure.
The poor operator could do nothing. Could only say they tried to contact my doctor 8 days after the prescription was asked for. That was the day after they sent the denial letter. Yes, they denied this with a letter, even though they had my e-mail and my phone number. And used the phone number to assure me on day 3 that the prescription was on it's way.
I am pissed.
On top of my fuel pump failing and stranding me on the highway one hour before confirmation last night, and costing me big $$$ to get fixed.
On top of a staff person who writes in her last minute report to council that she can't talk to me. And another one who just says flat out won't do what in the job descriptioin.
And two funerals. And Lent.
My blood pressure is high.
Tonight bad TV and the cat on my lap.
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