making faith real.

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This was a difficult sermon to preach. I am not usually so personal. But my intention that it was not about me - but about 'us' and making faith real.

Sunday, Sept. 20, 2009, – Lect. 25, Proper 20, 16th after Pent.
James 3:13-4:3, 4:7-8a – what is wisdom? Mark 9:30-37 – first & last, welcome the child, prediction of the passion

Last week I did something stupid. I did not listen to the lessons – to all the good words of the epistle and Gospel and the good news that Pastor preached about the firey tongue and the right way to use it – and I was rude to T. in public. And I want to make my public apology. It was wrong.

I was convicted by the voice of James. Do you ever read the scriptures, and you start to hear the voice, the authentic word being spoken to you? For that is what we believe – these scriptures, these lessons, these books of wisdom, are here in our hands for our - teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, - that’s from the letter to Timothy. We can use scripture to give us a basis for looking at our lives and the world – (and as a side note, if we wish to use it to comment on things outside ourselves, such as the actions of our larger church body, we must also apply it to our own actions as well.) And the voice of James, stern and wise, spoke to me.

I made my apology to T. – but there is still lasting damage – and that continues my struggle with repentance these days. There is a story about St. Francis – it is about gossip, but it could be about any of the sins of the tongue – mean words, put-downs, shut-downs.

A woman went to St. Francis of Assisi and asked what she had to do to be forgiven for her gossiping. St. Francis told her to take feathers and place one at the doorstep of everyone she had spoken ill of in the town. She did so and returned to the wise saint. Francis told her to then go and retrieve all the feathers. When she attempted to do so, they were all gone. By that time the feathers were scattered all around town. Once again, she returned to St. Francis and told him about the feathers. He said to her: You wish to repent and be forgiven of your sin. Good. But the damage of your words is done and can not be taken back.

Oh, those feathers cannot be taken back. How many of us have had that sinking feeling – haven’t said something that can’t be taken back – that will ripple out, and not in a good way. That’s me – that’s me that James is talking about. You see, right after my ‘tongue fire’ – I immediately started to defend myself, even to myself. I did not want to listen to the scriptures, right there in front of me. I wanted to be right. I was in denial of my sin – I wanted to be right. “But, but, but, I was right, I had reasons.”

James says that our disputes begin because we covet what we don’t have. That doesn’t just mean physical objects – things are not at the heart of many of our disputes. What we covet, too often, is control, power, getting everything just right, having it my way.

And a lot of times, we have very good reasons for wanting things just so. But we let our desire to do things right take over, and we sin. We are not just control freaks, we are sinners. We hurt others. We impede the word of God. And it affects not just us, but many others – remember the feathers.
Look again at Jesus’ interactions with his disciples in today’s lesson. The disciples are arguing among themselves.

They were arguing about who was greatest! Who was the best – what, disciple? follower? I’m more humble than you? Ironic isn’t it. Really, I suspect they were arguing about who was right. Not really about righteousness in God’s eyes - but about which one of them was going to be in control. Who was right? That was just the problem I had.

And Jesus looks at them with sorrow. With sighing. With clarity that no, they don’t get it yet. And Jesus wants them to understand what the kingdom looks like,
that the kingdom, this process of living in God’s grace,
under God’s forgiveness, with God’s approval
– that the kingdom does not look like the human desire to be right.
To be the greatest, to be in control, remember what James says – is to covet what you don’t have. And that’s the core of this sin.

And Jesus, to make his point – takes the most wayward creature he can find – and says: This is what the kingdom looks like. At this point I realize that Jesus takes a little child – not because children are innocent, not because they are sweet, not because they are fragile – he points to the little child and says “Welcome him” because that child knows nothing about being the greatest, and nothing about being in control.

Can you tell that newborn to sleep through the night? Can you stop that toddler from putting that rock in his mouth? Can you stop that three year old from having the huge, shrieking, drop to the floor meltdown? Uh-un. A child is the loose cannon in our lives, the ultimate destroyer of our plans. A child can make all of us look ridiculous.

That is what the kingdom looks like. And we’ve missed it over and over again. One of our greatest sins, as I demonstrated through my stupid words last week, is that we think the kingdom is about adults being right, about our own desire to set everything up and make it go perfectly.

Jesus will have no ‘buts, I was right’ to excuse our rudeness, our disputes, our uncharitable treatment of our neighbor. The kingdom is not about being greatest, or about being righteous because of what we do, or about being right.

My newest friend is named Paulina and she is 4. I met her when I taught the pre-schoolers during Vacation Bible School this summer. Paulina sees me as her teacher, and she delights in me. She hugs me when she sees me and she wants to sit with me and talk to me and insisted I explore the church picnic with her. She thinks the world of me.

Jesus said, “Welcome the children”. It is not for her that he said that. She is full of light with me or without me. It is for me that Jesus said “Welcome the children.”

She is already bestows the grace of God when she accepts me. I am challenged by her eyes to be the person she thinks I am.
I am challenged by her affection to be a person who is motivated by love, not by the need to be right. I ask for the the grace to be the good person she thinks I am. That grace is in Jesus alone.

May we all learn to drop need to be right, the need to be the greatest so that Christ can work in us.