true esp stories

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My office manager swears this is true:

Parishioner: Why doesn't the church ever record my offering?
Office Manager: Oh dear. Do you know your envelope number?
Parishioner: I never use envelopes.
OM: Do you write a check, so we can copy your name and address?
P: No. I just put cash in the plate.

I know this one is true.

Parishioner: Did Mr. B.A. get named in the prayers on Sunday?
Me: No. I didn't know anything about B.A. What happened to him?
P: He was in a car accident. He's the brother of S.A., who was once council president, but he doesn't come to church here anymore.
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't know anything about it. Was Mr. B.A. a member?
P: Oh, no, this happened out of state.

I need to work on my mind-reading skills.
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